How to Change a Life
by EmmieElliott
Summary: I was having a bit of writer's block so I decided to write this one shot. Tara doesn't end up going to the Welcome Home party and this is how the story unfolds into something a little different. Mostly how Tara feels about the whole situation in Season 1 Finale. Added a bit of my interpretation on the whole situation. Enjoy! One Shot


**Just a little one shot I wrote to help me with some writer's block. I find the best thing to do when I am stuck to think of another story. Helps relieve my mind and brings forth new ideas. Nothing too serious just another type of version if Tara had another thing to do.**

Tara saw how Wendy and Jax were. All she could think about was what Gemma said to her early on. Jax had been in a hard place when she came back. What if she was never meant to be with him? He was still married to Wendy. Maybe they would still be married if Jax hadn't freaked with her pregnancy. After her talk with Jax she started to distance herself. He had enough on his plate and their relationship wasn't really anything but a few nights in bed and some fleeting feelings still left unresolved. In the end this could have been their closure. That way they could finally put their feelings to rest.

Tara had been leaning against the nurse's station filing out some paper work for the final part of her rounds. Abel should be getting out soon and that want she could finally go to work without a Teller showing up. Abel was her favorite of course but the rest of them seemed to create problems.

This was her place. The hospital was her sanctuary and at the moment she needed to peace of the white walls to help her make a decision. Terry was gossiping to another nurse about how all of the suspicious happens that came with the SAMCRO baby would be gone from sight.

"I heard your favorite patient is finally home." Dr. Harold Patten was a colleague and friend to Tara. He was a heart surgeon and had assisted Dr. Nameed with the preparation for the surgery.

"Yes his family should be taking him home right now." Tara replied as she gave him a small smile.

"Dr. Knowles!" Dr. Nameed called as he approached Gemma who was holding the baby.

"Doctor." She nodded as she gave Gemma a small smile.

Just then the elevator opened to reveal Jax and Wendy together. Jax quickly took Abel out of his mother's arms. "Is he ready to go?"

"Yes all is clear." Dr. Nameed paused for a moment. "I would like to introduce you to Dr. Patten he helped with your sons case. He is one of the best cardiologists in California."

Jax turned to see the young doctor and reached out his hand in a kind offering. "Thanks so much for your help."

"It was nothing actually Dr. Knowles came up with the idea on how to do both surgeries safely. He was in some bad shape but she kept reading about every single surgery that had happened with a success rate. All I did was confirm that it could be done. She is more of hero for this little guy." Tara blushed before grabbing the file she had been working on and passing it over to Dr. Nameed.

"Can you take my coat back to my locker I am done for the night?" Tara asked Terry finally revealing to all the right black dress and heels underneath.

"Wow a little over dressed for a welcome home party? Don't cha think?" Wendy asked with a snarky undertone.

"Actually we are headed towards a benefit for the hospital tonight. I am heading to change right now. Night everyone..." Dr. Nameed said as he started down a hallway. "And of course good luck to you two the first night is always the hardest."

"Thanks." Wendy smiled as Jax realized what was going on.

"I thought you were coming tonight?" Jax asked as everyone suddenly became tense as Jax and Tara met eyes.

"I figured it was more a club thing besides I have to go flirt with the rich investors so they will donate to my department." Tara smiled as Harry and her have each other a knowing gaze.

"We should probably go." Harry commented knowing the story these two shared. "Don't want to be late and get Margaret pissed at us."

"You are right. Good luck and bye Abel." She lightly grabbed a hand from the baby and gave him a soft smile. "I better not see you in here anytime soon."

"I wouldn't count on it Doc." Gemma popped in as she saw what might happen.

"That is always good to hear." She looked up at Jax giving him a small wink and a smile before grabbing Harry's outstretched arm so he could lead her to the elevator. "Bye Jax."

The whole night had been dull for Tara. In truth Harry had asked her to go so he wouldn't be alone. He was gay and didn't feel comfortable bringing his partner. Gay doctors didn't raise money or that is what he thought. Tara on the other hand would rather be anywhere but at that party. Wendy had something that she didn't. Abel. That was a connection no one could beat. Jax would always choose the mother of his son over her. She was his past but that, Abel and Wendy, they were his future.

When she woke the next morning she heard some amazing new. Months before she headed to Charming she had applied for a fellowship in Los Angeles General. They called had called to offered her the chance to study under the best neonatal surgeon in the country. By the end of the week she had to give her answer. If she failed to do so that meant that the next applicant would get it.

Once she headed into the hospital she heard the most devastating news. Donna was dead. Jax had told her a few stories of Donna and Opie during their fleeting romance. He seemed happy that their relationship had happened. In the back of her mind she knew she should go see Jax but then again there was a chance she would see Wendy too.

Just as she was about to call him she heard her pager go off. Dr. Nameed needed her and that was it. She went straight into Doctor mode forgetting her life. Her sanctuary was back and she could let her mind rest as her body did its work.

By the end she was discussing the events of the surgery when she spotted him. He was sitting there looking like a lost puppy.

"I am sorry about Donna."

"Thanks wanted to talk to you. See where you were at?" Jax knew that this death would affect her. Also after last night he knew that Wendy wasn't the one who he was supposed to be with. He had promised Wendy time but he knew once she realized that she could live without them that she would be done.

"I am good. I do have something to tell you." She cringed as he looked at her with a confused look so she grabbed his hand. "I got a call from LA General they want me to do a fellowship with their neonatal surgeon."

"So you are running?" He asked pulling his hand away from hers.

"No I am not. This is amazing for my career." She tried to reason but he was beyond it.

That's when he went on his rant telling her that she got him to do his dirty work and how every woman he ever slept with only made him think if her. He kissed her but as he pulled away she grabbed on to his shirt.

"You say all of this shit but you don't understand. You have everything and I have one thing." She whispered as she closed her eyes.

"What are you talking about?" He wanted to leave but she wasn't letting him go.

"You have everything, a family, the club, a son, and a wife. My career is all I have." Tara was trying to keep the tears back. "When I left it was a mistake. I should have kidnapped you and taken you with me but I was scared. You were it for me. All I had. I thought that this was a second chance but as I watched you with Wendy I realized I would never be her. I would never be the mother of your first born son."

"Yeah well what about that Doctor?"

"He is gay and we are just friends. It meant nothing." She said as she knew that losing Jax would hurt hit she could survive it.

"What are you saying Tara?" He was confused and frustrated.

"Your mom and Wendy have a piece of you. I use to have one but I lost it when I went off to school. I understand that. Also I understood that you would be apprehensive but now I know there is something inside you that doesn't trust me so don't go saying it is my fault. My career is everything to me. I am not running, I am actually allowing myself to live. So when you leave here think about whether this relationship is worth anything." Tara said as she took a seat in the chair and wiped an escaping tear down her cheek.

Jax said nothing just took one more look before escaping the situation.

At the end of the funeral service she kept looking for him but realized that if he came it would be for Wendy and Gemma. The women were quick to discuss how close Wendy and Jax had gotten over the past few days. It broke her heart hit it was confirmation. She made a quick move out of the party and into the different area of the cemetery. Her mother lay beneath her as she stared at the words on a stone. Somehow this was supposed to help her.

"What are thinking about?" She looked up as she saw Wendy standing there looking at the name on the gravestone. "This your mom?"

"Yeah she died when I was nine." Tara replied as she could barely look at this woman.

"Must have been hard." No one really understood what it was like for her to go through it but it was her burden. She never wanted anyone's sympathy especially that Junkie's.

"It was but I got through it. Kept me on the right track and made me want to become a doctor." Honestly she wanted to escape the situation but this was her mom's grave not hers. Wendy would be leaving this spot long before Tara.

"Yeah well I guess I should be thankful for that. I mean you did save my kid from my own stupidity." Wendy took a moment to pause thinking of how she wanted to compose this. "I know Jax will never love me like he does you. I get it now and I am done."

"What does that mean?" She asked not really knowing the extent of what Wendy was saying.

"He's yours. I want him and my son to be happy and both of them seem to like you. Today I could barely take care of Abel and kept thinking that if it would have been you that everything would be fine. I am not what those two need. You are." Her admitting this must have been the worst thing she has ever done but she knew she had to do. "Take care of them."

"I will I promise." And like that her decision was made. She watched her walk away and realized that maybe she was meant to leave without Jax. It was supposed to be this way. She needed to fight for him and realize that he was what she wanted so she took a walk to where she thought he would be.

His back was turned but she didn't say anything as she approached. Her arms reached around his middle as she felt that this was the right place. Her left hand went over his heart as she felt him lean back into her embrace and whispered, "I will always love you."

"I still love you." She whispered into his back. "I am not leaving."

**That's the end. I hope you enjoyed another version.**


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